Or Germans who want beer for breakfast and go to the local bar only to find that it's (gasp) closed?
What's up with that?
When friends from out of the country visit me in NYC I take them for two things: bagels and pizza.
Why? Because that's what we make best here in NYC. That and despair. Ha!
I know you're thinking, "Wow, this dude has gone off the deep end."
Certainly, I have! But that's not the point.
When ever I travel someplace I always try and find out what the regional specialty is and the ask locals where I can obtain the best version of this speciality.
So recently I was in Italy near Pisa and I heard about this stuff called Cecina, a thin bread made out of Chickpea flour, salt and olive oil.
I was in this town called Pontederra.
I asked, or rather screamed, at this old Italian lady, "Where the fuck can I get me a good cecina?"
She said, "Walk away from the train station until you get to the kebab house. Then take a left. There will be flowers on the street. About 25 meters in, you will see a light emanating from a small shop. You will see Jesus sitting at a bench in the shop. Jesus will motion for you to come in. There you will meet the Be-atch. The Be-atch has run this shop for 30 years. All she makes is cecina and these pizzas that you can put the cecina on. Even though she's old and short, she's really hot. I guarantee that you and her are going to have a love fest after you eat her cecina."
I followed the directions. I saw Jesus.
Then I was saved. I saw the cecina being cooked by the Be-atch in the brick oven.
She slowly pulled it out. It was perfect and slightly browned on the top.
She let me taste a little bit as a "sample." She put a little pepper on it. I said "Jesus!"
Jesus came over and said "You have to try it on the pizza, mofo."
Her pizza has been touched by the hand of God.
It is simple pizza. Tomato sauce, some romano, 1 caper and 1 anchovy.
It was the most flavorful caper I have ever eaten in my life, bursting with brinyness. The Be-atch puts some of her cecina on top of this.
Here's a close up. If you put your nose on your computer screen you can smell the cecina. I swear. Also, note the charring of the crust. This is what fancy NYC pizzerias try and do and charge you $25 a pie for. The Be-atch charged me $1.25.
After I finished eating, Jesus came over and said, "Do you believe the word of God now, mofo?"
I got down on my knees and repented.
"Yes! Yes," I cried.
"Now go pay the Be-atch," he said.
"Happily," I replied. "Happily."
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1 comments:
Again,Mr. Scarum, another interesting bit of world-food information given with your unique,twisted sense of humor. But Scarum,really, isn't your frequent use of the "F" word just a bit gratuitous? We have all heard the word since our school bus days, or in your case,since your in-utero days, as your Mother often was overheard exclaiming,"Oh,F--k! This little bastard is kicking the sh.. out of me." I heard her say that,honest. So stop already with the overused f-ing word.
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